Perspective
The Mother of Challenges
Do parenthood and residency mix?
By Andrea Watson, M.D.
Having a child is a life-changing experience. So, too, is becoming a physician. But is it too much to try to do both?
On the surface, it’s crazy to take the already grueling lifestyle of a physician-in-training and add to it parenthood, another full-time job that is exhausting and anxiety-producing. Keeping up with a resident’s call schedule is hard enough, but when you’re in the throes of morning sickness, it becomes even more difficult—or, at times, impossible. Taking care of yourself is easier said than done. Your obstetrician tells you to eat well and get plenty of rest. In between 10-hour ER shifts? And after the baby is born, you try to be everything to everyone: to work all night, present a case at a conference, and then get home in time to nurse your infant and play with your 3-year-old before she leaves for preschool. Meanwhile, all you want to do is sleep.
Why would you do this to yourself?
That’s a question many women who are training to be doctors struggle to answer. Unfortunately, there are few role models and little support for those who want to start a family as students or residents. “There’s no good time in school or residency.” “You’ll put too much work onto your colleagues.” “Pregnancy is too stressful.” That’s what some female physicians told me as a new medical student.
I didn’t heed their warnings, however. I had my first child as a third-year medical student. I was 28, older than most of my classmates. My road to medical school was long and winding. I applied three times before getting in and was a very focused student. I had also married the love of my life and wanted to start a family. But the decision to have children during training meant possibly jeopardizing the career I had worked so hard to begin. I was lucky: My pregnancy went smoothly, my baby was healthy, and I returned to rotations when my daughter was 2 months old. I graduated on time and began my pediatric residency shortly thereafter.
Many people ask how you can be a resident with small children at home. Knowing what I do now, I wonder how I could do it without children. I’ve come to believe that medicine and parenthood do go hand in hand. Whether they join our families by birth or adoption, children add new dimensions to our lives. The cry of the newborn reminds us of our frailty, our vulnerability, and our intense need for others. The endless questions of the preschooler add wonder and laughter to our days. The peace of our children asleep gives us reassurance and hope.
Motherhood allows me to share the love I have for my children with my young patients. It enables me to be patient and understanding with angry, frightened parents. It makes me a better listener, reminds me to treat others with respect, and allows me to find fun in the day-to-day routine.
The sacrifices that I make are no different from those made by any other working mother. Whether their job is to cultivate fields for food, clean office buildings, or take care of patients, many mothers leave their children and make the difficult journey to work each day. When I start feeling sorry for myself because I am not home with my children, I find solace in the idea that I am part of a sisterhood of women around the world who provide for their families outside of the home, whether by choice or necessity.
Having children during medical training is a deeply personal decision, but one that has brought me great joy and new insights. I recently gave birth to my second child. Although this pregnancy wasn’t as easy as the first one, I now have two beautiful girls who are my inspiration. I believe that my role as a mother has not only made me a better person, it has made me a better doctor. MM
Andrea Watson is a third-year resident in pediatrics at the Mayo Clinic.